I have made an investment. It's a sign that says "Family Section" on it, so that wherever I go, I can create my own instant area that permits men and women to co-mingle in public. This is all theoretical, of course. I'm going to try it out tonight. I'm not sure if there's a limit to the power radius of my sign, but it's worth a shot. And here's why.
Saudi is a completely segregated society. And I do mean completely. There's a section in the food court of every mall for the "singles"--read men--and for the "families". There's a different entrance into banks for women, and travel agencies have a specific time when they are open to women. Fast food restaurants have two different lines, divided by a wall, for the men and women. Reception areas are divided and closed off, and when we transfer money, it's like a parting of the manly Red Sea when we walk in the door. You'd almost think we had a plague of the worst sort of girl cooties imaginable.
And here's the thing. It's economically damaging to the country. When the women--who have a LOT of time (and money) on their hands--are hindered from spending money, it restricts the spending of a lot of expendable income. When a woman isn't permitted to move freely either, it is personally AND economically hindering. And it just don't make no sense. As quoted from the Arab News:
"For example, businesswomen registering public businesses (businesses that serve both men and women) have been required to appoint a male manager. The lack of relevant business licenses for many popular business activities, such as day-care centers and beauty salons, further complicates the registration process for Saudi businesswomen. In addition, restrictions on women’s mobility due to the absence of public transportation and the ban on driving, as well as restrictions on international travel, may cause delays, extra costs and/or limited options for training abroad.
Recruiting international women specialists to provide training courses within the Kingdom also poses a challenge to business management, due to restrictions on obtaining business visas for foreign women."
I had a few segregation-tastic setbacks today. The first came when we discovered a bowling alley. We (myself and another woman) were SO happy!! Bowling! How fun/normal! How exciting to find something new to do here that doesn't involve a mall!! So we went in to inquire about prices etc. etc. We decided that we had time for a quick game, and were ready to play. We were taking out our wallets when the little worker told us to wait a minute while he called his manager to make sure it was okay. Turns out it wasn't okay for two women to go bowling for a half-hour in an otherwise completely deserted establishment. It's only okay if we come in between 10am-3pm, and we have to call a day ahead. Huh. So they lost 26 riyals.
Then we went to console ourselves, and were debating between Dunkin' Donuts and Baskin Robbins. We peeked into the donut store and saw a ton of men, and nary a single woman. So we figured we weren't allowed in there, and went to the now-abandoned ice cream store. There was a sum total of one table, and Chris quickly claimed it for us, as we were determined to sit there until booted out. Turns out the Indian man working there was super nice, and let us stay. We were rather put out by the runaround at this point, but the story's not finished.
We hailed a cab to go back home, and all three of us piled into the cab: two in the back, one in the front. The cab driver refused to go until all three of us were in the back seat, because if the Mutawa (religious police) caught us, the taxi driver would be in big trouble for having a woman who is not is wife in the front seat. So we all smooshed together in the back and just shook our head.
This whole adventure was inspired by another friend who wanted to go to the dentist. It involved 6 people to get her to the dentist: the driver, the person who had to give the driver permission to take us, two people who had to give the driver directions, two of us for moral support/propriety and the patient. And such is daily life. Just like our route to the dentist, we just seem to go round and round and round in circles to get any small thing accomplished. What would usually be a one person deal to make and go to an appointment suddenly required a whole contingent of people. And that's ludicrous. In addition, it's wasteful.
The women are smothering, especially in the younger generation. They need to be able to go out for what they need. They need to be able to enter public places of business in order to, you know, conduct business. They need to be able to get into a car when they need to and go where they need without the interference and intervention of a horde of other people. There's nothing improper about getting your teeth checked, or going to a medical appointment, or going to the grocery store, or meeting a friend for coffee. By placing so many restrictions on daily life, every small thing becomes an event, and therefore gets blown completely out of proportion. And that loss of perspective, I believe, leads to some of the dangerous attitudes we see not just here but all over the world.
Let's take a mental step back and remove ourselves from the perceived need for control over every minuscule facet of daily life. Women are very capable when they are given the opportunity for responsibility. Look at how they have found ways to flourish despite the restrictions placed on them! Let them go, Saudi, and watch them thrive! I think you would be surprised by the benefits--monetary, social, developmental--that you would reap. You'd finally allow your women to grow up and reach maturity, which is something they are sorely lacking in now. Lighten up, and watch your country bloom, just like the desert after a storm.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
First Times
Today was a very interesting day. After getting one friend out of the country after an epic, protracted and thoroughly unnecessary war with our company, another friend and I were able to visit and enjoy the hospitality of a Saudi home. What an experience! Here's the story. Last week, we all went to one of the biggest malls in Riyadh. As we were wandering around, a couple of women came up to us and said they wanted to "communicate" with us. I, being the naturally suspicious person that I am, was at first very hesitant to accept any invitations or get tied up with anyone. Then, I decided that it would likely be one of my few opportunities to get to know Saudi women.
Turns out that one of the women is a journalist, and her daughter is a college student. They both want to improve their English, and followed up with me earlier this week to meet up today as a "get to know you" type thing. The mother met us at the mall this evening, and then invited us to her home. I was more reticent, but since I had a buddy with me decided to go for it. We braved the Thursday night traffic and driving by the son-without-a-driver's-license, and got to their villa. It was kind of what we'd seen before when we were house-hunting, with several sitting rooms, a large kitchen and maybe 4-5 bedrooms. The whole house was painted a vivid yellow, and the furnishings were plush. The hospitality these women showed was lavish. First there was juice and water. Then cake and tea. Then Arabic coffee and dates. Then a large plate of fruit each. They also gave us a package of dates each and sent a driver for us to take us home.
Our discussion ranged from the beauty of English to the difficulty of Arabic to what everybody studies/d in school to how women in Riyadh are not particularly open to new ideas and don't try to improve themselves and don't look to the future.They loved hearing about all of our "firsts", and were so pleased that they were the first Saudi home we'd been to, and wanted to serve us our first real kabsa. They also told us that we were the first foreigners they'd known, which was I suppose flattering for us.
We were rather surprised and pleased that we seemed to have gotten ourselves involved with a more liberal family. The mother explained that because her English wasn't very good, all the important assignments for the newspaper went to men. Both mother and daughter want a driver's license, and feel that English is the gateway to the world. Inside, I was cheering them on, thinking that they will be the catalyst for change in Saudi Arabia. But they're from Medina, which I think has some very different attitudes from Riyadh, which is much more conservative. I think it will take an attitude adjustment here in the capital for change to happen. But we'll see.
I think the general consensus is that change is happening in Saudi, slowly but surely. Letting Blackberries in, and having women actually live in dormitories on some college campuses are only the tip of the iceberg. Letting women in the workplace is also a step in the right direction. But I think that change will come at the behest of the women, and it's hard to get people who have lived so long without something to imagine themselves having it. Some of the women here have lived without freedom, so they don't know what it is. As such, they are happy with what they have, and being humans are resistant to change. Others have traveled outside the country, and see things they wish were different. Of course not everyone feels the same way--some will have traveled around and seen what's wrong with the world, and not want that brought to Saudi. But the thing is, it IS here in Saudi.
The strict and forced adherence to Islam covers a layer of society that is rotten. It covers the covert parties, drugs, drinking, rape, slavery, incest, murder, racism, greed, domestic violence and xenophobia. Image, money and influence are so important in this country that all of the bad is hidden away so that the world will see only the perfectly Islamic kingdom of Saudi Arabia. But God knows the truth, and He'll see through the lie. None of the above are Islamic, Saudi, and you know that but are too afraid of losing face to admit it. Get a grip, understand your own religion and start solving your problems. Don't just ignore them.
The hope for Saudi lies in its women, but not all of them have recognized that yet. Tradition and progress are not mutually exclusive. Neither are religion and equality. Knowledge is power, and the women are rapidly outstripping the men despite huge obstacles. It's only a matter of time, I think, before Saudi will be visibly different, and what you'll see is a public presence of women in charge. That'll be a wonderful first!
Turns out that one of the women is a journalist, and her daughter is a college student. They both want to improve their English, and followed up with me earlier this week to meet up today as a "get to know you" type thing. The mother met us at the mall this evening, and then invited us to her home. I was more reticent, but since I had a buddy with me decided to go for it. We braved the Thursday night traffic and driving by the son-without-a-driver's-license, and got to their villa. It was kind of what we'd seen before when we were house-hunting, with several sitting rooms, a large kitchen and maybe 4-5 bedrooms. The whole house was painted a vivid yellow, and the furnishings were plush. The hospitality these women showed was lavish. First there was juice and water. Then cake and tea. Then Arabic coffee and dates. Then a large plate of fruit each. They also gave us a package of dates each and sent a driver for us to take us home.
Our discussion ranged from the beauty of English to the difficulty of Arabic to what everybody studies/d in school to how women in Riyadh are not particularly open to new ideas and don't try to improve themselves and don't look to the future.They loved hearing about all of our "firsts", and were so pleased that they were the first Saudi home we'd been to, and wanted to serve us our first real kabsa. They also told us that we were the first foreigners they'd known, which was I suppose flattering for us.
We were rather surprised and pleased that we seemed to have gotten ourselves involved with a more liberal family. The mother explained that because her English wasn't very good, all the important assignments for the newspaper went to men. Both mother and daughter want a driver's license, and feel that English is the gateway to the world. Inside, I was cheering them on, thinking that they will be the catalyst for change in Saudi Arabia. But they're from Medina, which I think has some very different attitudes from Riyadh, which is much more conservative. I think it will take an attitude adjustment here in the capital for change to happen. But we'll see.
I think the general consensus is that change is happening in Saudi, slowly but surely. Letting Blackberries in, and having women actually live in dormitories on some college campuses are only the tip of the iceberg. Letting women in the workplace is also a step in the right direction. But I think that change will come at the behest of the women, and it's hard to get people who have lived so long without something to imagine themselves having it. Some of the women here have lived without freedom, so they don't know what it is. As such, they are happy with what they have, and being humans are resistant to change. Others have traveled outside the country, and see things they wish were different. Of course not everyone feels the same way--some will have traveled around and seen what's wrong with the world, and not want that brought to Saudi. But the thing is, it IS here in Saudi.
The strict and forced adherence to Islam covers a layer of society that is rotten. It covers the covert parties, drugs, drinking, rape, slavery, incest, murder, racism, greed, domestic violence and xenophobia. Image, money and influence are so important in this country that all of the bad is hidden away so that the world will see only the perfectly Islamic kingdom of Saudi Arabia. But God knows the truth, and He'll see through the lie. None of the above are Islamic, Saudi, and you know that but are too afraid of losing face to admit it. Get a grip, understand your own religion and start solving your problems. Don't just ignore them.
The hope for Saudi lies in its women, but not all of them have recognized that yet. Tradition and progress are not mutually exclusive. Neither are religion and equality. Knowledge is power, and the women are rapidly outstripping the men despite huge obstacles. It's only a matter of time, I think, before Saudi will be visibly different, and what you'll see is a public presence of women in charge. That'll be a wonderful first!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Um, Merry Christmas?
So here we are, two days after Christmas, and it's hard to remember a)that it is and has been the Christmas season and b)that in other parts of the world it's winter time, and, you know, cold. The weather here is lovely, which is one of the only positives I can come up with at the moment.
We are losing staff left and right at school, which is hard, so we're all taking more and more classes. People are also sick a lot, so we're covering extra classes for them as well. The disaster continues, and we're not looking forward to the end result of everything. Finals are coming up though and then we have a vacation, which is also very exciting. I think that I'm going to end up staying in-country again, and will try to do more traveling around Saudi.
I've had some very interesting discussions with my girls these last few days that have ranged from whether school uniforms should be required to whether it's better to be single or married. We had a raging debate today about which came first, the chicken or the egg. It was quite funny, actually. I wish that they were as passionate about grammar as they were about their discussion. We've also had some interesting talks about Islam, and their attitudes towards Shi'as (negative) as well as the ins and outs of the marriage process in Saudi (complicated). Every day's an education on both sides, that's for sure.
Christmas has been interesting, with attitudes ranging from open to very very closed. Some seem to completely refuse to acknowledge it or take part in any sort of celebration because, "If we celebrate, it means we believe, and we don't believe." That's a whole debate in and of itself. Others of my students and fellow teachers were saying Merry Christmas and were very conscientious of the holidays. Huh. Shwaya-shwaya, I guess. Anyways, Happy Holidays to my people everywhere!
We are losing staff left and right at school, which is hard, so we're all taking more and more classes. People are also sick a lot, so we're covering extra classes for them as well. The disaster continues, and we're not looking forward to the end result of everything. Finals are coming up though and then we have a vacation, which is also very exciting. I think that I'm going to end up staying in-country again, and will try to do more traveling around Saudi.
I've had some very interesting discussions with my girls these last few days that have ranged from whether school uniforms should be required to whether it's better to be single or married. We had a raging debate today about which came first, the chicken or the egg. It was quite funny, actually. I wish that they were as passionate about grammar as they were about their discussion. We've also had some interesting talks about Islam, and their attitudes towards Shi'as (negative) as well as the ins and outs of the marriage process in Saudi (complicated). Every day's an education on both sides, that's for sure.
Christmas has been interesting, with attitudes ranging from open to very very closed. Some seem to completely refuse to acknowledge it or take part in any sort of celebration because, "If we celebrate, it means we believe, and we don't believe." That's a whole debate in and of itself. Others of my students and fellow teachers were saying Merry Christmas and were very conscientious of the holidays. Huh. Shwaya-shwaya, I guess. Anyways, Happy Holidays to my people everywhere!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Do they know it's Christmas?
Please notice that Riyadh, Saudi Arabia is not on this list.
http://us.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/12/10/top.christmas.places/index.html?hpt=Sbin
http://us.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/12/10/top.christmas.places/index.html?hpt=Sbin
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
TGIW
What a week! It's been midterm time, and wowee zowee what a mess. We got the wrong exam for my level, so there were lots of frantic phone calls and grading and giving another exam and more grading. Needless to say, my girls did significantly better taking a test on material they had seen before than on stuff that was completely new to them! I was so worried yesterday when I gave them the new exam that they would do even worse than on the first one! But they came through just fine, and I was never so proud! It's funny, because I have a new co-teacher, so she's usually taught in the pm, while I have the am. Now we do half and half to cut down on our planning, but we still refer to each group as "my girls" and "your girls". So as I was cross grading the exams, I was looking to see how my girls compared to hers. She won for the top grade, but I think overall mine did better, so I'm quite pleased!! :)
Anyways, all of this combined with some outside stressors made for quite a week. I've never been so happy to see the weekend as I am here. I can't believe we were on vacation just a couple weeks ago! I need another one!
Last weekend we enjoyed the hospitality of a friend and went to a Christmas party. It was like a little slice of home, which was really cool. And I got to play a piano!!! :) We also went traipsing through the desert again, and enjoyed some Christmas carols and meeting new and special people. It's always an adventure! Oh oh oh, I saw my first scorpion! I hope to God it'll be my last one too. It was kind of see through and green and alien-looking. Yikes! To go for the hike, we gather in one area of the city, and then people with cars who are heading out for the hike pick people up who need rides. My last driver was about an 80 year old German who loved to chat. He was super interesting though, having built many of the desalinization plants here inside the Kingdom.
This weekend should be fun, though I must confess, I am planning on sleeping in tomorrow!! Oh boy, I can't wait! As I was turning off my alarm at 6am this morning, I just lay there and thought about how much I dislike getting up that early. The sun wasn't even up! Lame. Then I thought, oh boy...another 8 months of this. Then I thought about how much I admire people in the public school system who get up that early and then teach ALL DAY. Wow. I don't think I could do it.
The pictures are from when I was in Al-Khobar, on the east coast of the peninsula. Yup, I've touched all sides of the Arabian peninsula. Check that one off the bucket list. :) Bahrain is in the haze behind me. It's as close to the outside world as I'm going to get for a while!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Vacation Time!
Well, I have been vacationing with a vengence! We started break on Thursday, and found out soon after that King Abdullah extended the break to the 27th! This is most pleasing, though it throws our academic schedule off quite a bit. But I'm determined to not worry about it, and to just enjoy the extra 5 days of vacation.
Yesterday we got back from a camp in the desert. It was super SUPER cool. We got out of Riyadh to this nature preserve type area, complete with big red dunes. We got to dune board and see a falconing demonstration. That was really cool. There was also a huge feast and lots of delicious things to drink, including warm milk with ginger and sugar. It sounds weird, but it was incredibly delicious. We were with some of the Saudi guys from the company, other teachers and our hosts. We were allowed to play around in our regular clothes, because the abaya would've been impractical, and it was cool enough that we were fully covered anyways. But I think I scandalized some of the Saudis by instigating a soccer game, as well as being the first one who wanted to try everything new. Oh well. I enjoyed myself immensely.
I took a gazillion pictures, because the desert is just so ridiculously photogenic. See fb for full visuals.
We still haven't pulled together the rest of our trip, cause it's hard to get the group to make a collective decision. Now that we have a few extra days, we'll try to get moving next week. Today is Eid, so we'll probably lay low, and then we have another trip around Riyadh in a couple days, which will be cool.
I'm enjoying lazing around and watching movies and catching up on sleep. We're going to be changing books after the break, so it's hard to do any advanced planning since I only have one of the four books necessary. It also seems like there will be lots of staff changes, as we're losing people left and right. Let me just say the pregnancy is an epidemic around here...Anyways, I'm determined to enjoy doing nothing for a while, before heading back to work in a week and a half. :)
Yesterday we got back from a camp in the desert. It was super SUPER cool. We got out of Riyadh to this nature preserve type area, complete with big red dunes. We got to dune board and see a falconing demonstration. That was really cool. There was also a huge feast and lots of delicious things to drink, including warm milk with ginger and sugar. It sounds weird, but it was incredibly delicious. We were with some of the Saudi guys from the company, other teachers and our hosts. We were allowed to play around in our regular clothes, because the abaya would've been impractical, and it was cool enough that we were fully covered anyways. But I think I scandalized some of the Saudis by instigating a soccer game, as well as being the first one who wanted to try everything new. Oh well. I enjoyed myself immensely.
I took a gazillion pictures, because the desert is just so ridiculously photogenic. See fb for full visuals.
We still haven't pulled together the rest of our trip, cause it's hard to get the group to make a collective decision. Now that we have a few extra days, we'll try to get moving next week. Today is Eid, so we'll probably lay low, and then we have another trip around Riyadh in a couple days, which will be cool.
I'm enjoying lazing around and watching movies and catching up on sleep. We're going to be changing books after the break, so it's hard to do any advanced planning since I only have one of the four books necessary. It also seems like there will be lots of staff changes, as we're losing people left and right. Let me just say the pregnancy is an epidemic around here...Anyways, I'm determined to enjoy doing nothing for a while, before heading back to work in a week and a half. :)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Eid al-Halaweaat
Well well well well well. Since the last blog post, things have improved somewhat on the administrative end. Not hugely, but enough to take the edge of things, at least for today. Getting paid--especially on time--does wonders for one's motivation.
My girls threw my co-teacher and I a party that was celebrating finishing a quiz, and the first day of November etc. etc. The fact that it fell the day after Halloween was entirely coincidental. We called it Eid al-Halaweaat, which means the holiday of sweets. They went crazy with cake and cupcakes and candies and doughnuts. They really are a ton of fun. We ate and studied, but it was really funny because the unit we were starting was titled Socializing. So when I said, alright ladies, we really have to get to work, they said,"But Teacher, we're practicing! We're socializing!!" It's hard to argue with such logic. :)
This past weekend was a lot of fun, because I got to go poke around the old city some more, and I saw the gold market. That was incredible! I've never seen so much gold in one place in all my life. I also got to see the camel market which was super cool. It was just camels of every color as far as the eye could see. It's right on the edge of Riyadh, but the city just stops so you feel like you're pretty well out in the desert.
Anyway, things are going better. There's still quite a bit of room for improvement, but we're making our way. I have to get serious about planning for my vacation time! I love vacations! :)
My girls threw my co-teacher and I a party that was celebrating finishing a quiz, and the first day of November etc. etc. The fact that it fell the day after Halloween was entirely coincidental. We called it Eid al-Halaweaat, which means the holiday of sweets. They went crazy with cake and cupcakes and candies and doughnuts. They really are a ton of fun. We ate and studied, but it was really funny because the unit we were starting was titled Socializing. So when I said, alright ladies, we really have to get to work, they said,"But Teacher, we're practicing! We're socializing!!" It's hard to argue with such logic. :)
This past weekend was a lot of fun, because I got to go poke around the old city some more, and I saw the gold market. That was incredible! I've never seen so much gold in one place in all my life. I also got to see the camel market which was super cool. It was just camels of every color as far as the eye could see. It's right on the edge of Riyadh, but the city just stops so you feel like you're pretty well out in the desert.
Anyway, things are going better. There's still quite a bit of room for improvement, but we're making our way. I have to get serious about planning for my vacation time! I love vacations! :)
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